Self Worth

You know I am such an easy going person and most people who know me will tell you that I’m always one to see the positive side of a situation.  I had a situation this week that really made me angry, mostly because I really think the person who treated me badly was prejudice against larger people or at least larger women.  I went to a local establishment with a friend to listen to open mic night and have some fun for Cinco de Mayo.  If you are curious and follow me on Facebook you can figure out where I was.  They had all you can eat crawfish but it was like $10 per plate.  So I get my drink and my plate and a bracelet to get more later.  Went to ask for my second helping (they weren’t huge servings to begin with) and was told by this guy they were all out.  So, after telling my friend I’m like I’m gonna ask the waitress at least for an appetizer to make up for the difference and she said she’d get me some chips and salsa…which never came.  In the meantime I run into someone I know and he’s there at the bar with his skinny cute friend and they inform me they just finished three containers and had to send one back of the crawfish…I’m like do what?  Now I’m pissed.  I ended up getting a refund from the guy on my ticket and I even still tipped the waitress a nice amount.  You could just kindof see the contempt in his eyes.  What he doesn’t realize is how bad the whole experience made me feel.  Part of me wanted to pull out my phone and say listen a-hole, I’ve lost 50 pounds this last year but I knew he really wouldn’t care.  Maybe I read too much into the whole thing but if you are a larger person, you just kind of know when people have “that look”.  It made me feel so inadequate and small.  As much as you try not to let those kind of situations bother you too bad, they do sometimes cut to your very core.  But the bottom line is I’ve come a long way!  I have a family and friends who truly love me for who I am and not just what I look like.  They encourage me and tell me how good I am looking and how they can tell a big difference in my body now.  So I hold on to those people and comments and the positive when I’ve dealt with a bad situation.  Maybe they were just having a bad night.  I thought about lashing out with a bad review and found there were bad comments already out there about this particular place.  And I can’t say I wont go back because some of my friends frequent the place because it does have a great opportunity for musicians to come together and jam.  I just have to make sure and keep my chin up and know that I’m worth way more than that one guy made me feel.  Just remember when you are dealing with people you don’t know where they’ve been or how far they have come or how they might be struggling at that moment.  Be that person who lifts them up, be that person that finds a good thing to compliment them about.  Help others see their self worth!

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